Reality

by Deborah


We have ideas of the ways things are going to be.

We think we are going to look like this.....

and the reality is this.....

We think our kids will be like this....

and the reality is this.....

 

 

 

We think our homes will look like this.....

 

 

and the reality is this....

 

 

We think our careers will look like this......

 

 

and the reality is this......

 



 

 

Life, at least my life, doesn't look like those Pottery Barn catalogues that show up in the mail.  Though it also isn't quite as awful as the news and magazines and self-help books make it sound.  The truth is somewhere in between.  It's a lot of work and a lot of mistakes and a lot of irritations and a lot of responsibilities.  And dotted in between the drudge and repetition are these sublime little moments that are even shinier and more perfect than the way we thought things were going to be.  The trick is to hang on to those little moments, to fondle them carefully in your thoughts like a comforting stone, while you soldier on through the work of living.

 

For me the sublime moments are my oldest daughter's face lighting up with happiness when she sees me as she files into the room for the Thanksgiving assembly.  It's the quiet cuddle from my youngest at the end of the night, one arm thrown around my neck as she whispers good night.  It's holding hands with my husband as we watch a movie together once the kids are in bed.  It's a gorgeous pink-streaked sunrise that makes it impossible to be quite as grumpy about being awake so early.  It's the tears in my stoic husband's eyes at his grandmother's funeral.  It's crafting something for no reason and being surprised and pleased with how it turned out.  It's my dog leaning her head against my hand when I reach down to her.

 

They are little moments.  The best moments are fleeting, ethereal.  Perhaps they are more valuable for their rarity.  But they are blessings, and I may not be able to hold them tightly in my hand, but I can choose to focus on them instead of the more common and mundane occurrences.  This takes discipline, for me.  It is easier to focus on all that is irritating and all that I have to do and I can cycle into a mindset of deprivation.  So, today, in preparation for Thanksgiving, I am trying to focus more on the little sublime moments and less on my drudgery.

 



 

The way I think things are going to be and the reality are vastly different, usually.  The reality is usually worse than the sanitized image I have in my head.  But the truth is that the reality is also infinitely better in tiny little sparkling moments.  The trick is to be paying attention and to let them in, to grab them and nestle them in the pocket of your heart.

 

What are some of your realities, and what are some of your sublimities?