Monday, February 27, 2012

The comfort of routine is not something I ever thought I would enjoy. But, in fact, I do. I crave it.
I need my coffee first thing in the morning.
I need two pieces of chocolate after lunch.
I need to go straight to bed once my lil' guy is down for the night and yes, that sometimes is as early 8:00 p.m.!
My morning cuppa and my Moleskin.
But when I need to get truly grounded because I feel like I am going to vanish into an all-consuming, real depression, what I need is different. I need:
When my energy bucket is empty and I'm running low, I can tell because my phone needs charging and my car is out of gas. (Quite often we also need groceries and the house is a wreck, but really, that can happen any time!) A heart-to-heart with a dear friends or my mom can help then, as sometimes can a treat like getting my nails done or seeing a movie. But those things have 'time guilt' associated with them, and they're only for energy. Not soul.
Today's art: "The only place we have to stand is where we are now."
Journaling, exercising, and doing art are instant heart charging, mind calming, nerve soothing actions I can do. Physical actions that help me get my feelings out, soothe my anger and angst, and allow me to feel some sort of control over my life.

On the heels of Deborah's crushing heartbreak, I've realized that for me, it's pouring my heart out, into something, be it scribbled words, painted images, or an elliptical machine, that keeps me stable.

That, and a daily dose of chocolate.

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