Nowhere is Between Somewheres

After two years of transitioning (changing jobs, and moving from a home that I loved in Los Angeles to the suburbs of New York), I am realizing I am not in mourning anymore, but instead I feel more neutral, more numb. I don't feel as if I have fully started my new life (which is quite strange: I have!), but I am aware of things falling into place: I can see new pathways. 

I visited the White Plains Unitarian church Sunday, and the guest speaker (who's name I did not catch -- my bad!) introduced me to author William Bridges. His book "Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes" talks about how transition is psychological, and there are three phases of transition. 



He says in transition, we first we experience...
   (1) The ending, the letting go and saying goodbye. There's feelings of loss, mourning, and confusion.
Then there is...
   (2) The neutral zone, where we are in limbo. We often feel anxiety and/numbness; old conflicts come up.
And eventually, we get to...
   (3) Begin anew.



As I was thinking about how much I have been struggling in so many aspects of my life, the speaker suggested while we are in the middle of change, that we take time to feel and talk and express ourselves. That I can do! She told us with a smile, "Nowhere is in between somewhere". I can remember that too.